Why expressing your needs feel like a bungee jump sometimes, and how to do that?
The majority of women don’t’ express their needs…
We prefer to avoid conflicts.
We think that people will judge us.
We put someone else’s needs first.
We don’t want to be considered weak or too sensitive.
We think it is ok to give somebody else control, voice, or decision.
What is your reason for putting YOURSELF SECOND?
I know exactly how hard it is to express your feelings and needs sometimes, especially if your requirements seem to be contrary to your family members’, coworkers’, or close friends’.
But I also know, from experience, that if you neglect yourself for too long, you end up depressed, or your bottled-up emotions will EXPLODE one day.
Even though my clients are strong, experienced, and successful women, most of them do not express their needs to some extent.
Keep reading if this sounds familiar to you.
Let’s say that you are aware of why you don’t express your needs. But have you ever considered or verified whether these reasons are VALID? Or maybe your mind CREATED them?
For example, let’s assume that you generally don’t express your needs because you prefer to avoid conflicts – do you know FOR SURE that you will end up in a row in this particular situation?
Do you have any evidence of that? How many times has it happened before? Or how many times this was a result of your conversation with this PARTICULAR PERSON?
Maybe you are afraid of being laughed at – ask yourself when something like this happened to you the last time. Were you dealing with the same person you are talking to now? Or maybe you subconsciously refer to a situation that occurred when you were a child and you were laughed at by your family member or a friend? Does that mean that the same will happen FOR SURE in the situation you are in right now?
Of course, I am not talking about mental abuse or mobbing cases here. Such cases require special attention and assistance.
I know who usually reads my posts. 🙂 You are an intelligent woman; you grow and develop your whole life and move forward with your plans. You are independent, know what you need in life, and usually go for it.
And yet, expressing your needs is like a BUNGEE JUMP for you sometimes.
I am asking all these questions to make you aware that sometimes you decide not to express yourself based on some stories and beliefs that your mind created.
These stories ARE NOT TRUE. Sometimes they are based on an experience or two, but most of the time, the knowledge related to different circumstances and other people were involved.
Your mind interprets the CURRENT MOMENT based on THE PAST. It is doing you a disservice.
Do you want to feel comfortable while expressing your needs? I have a proposal for you.
Do the following every time you are about to withhold from expressing your needs in the next three weeks:
- write down your emotions and thoughts BEFORE
- “close your eyes and jump” – say IT,
- write down how your interlocutor reacted and how you felt AFTER.
Start with MINOR MATTERS,
everyday issues that come up in your conversations with family members.
Gradually, move to matters of GREATER IMPORTANCE, start to communicate your needs in a professional environment. But don’t rush. It would be best if you felt comfortable with that.
I am pretty confident that the above exercise will let you realize that in the vast majority of cases, this what you are afraid of, NEVER HAPPENS.
I keep my fingers crossed for your consistency, as only consistency brings CHANGE. 🙂
- You need some support in the process of YOUR INNER POWER and CONFIDENCE discovery, and
- You would like to do some work on your 5th energetic center (so-called throat chakra) that is connected with your self-expression,
write to me, and we will schedule a SESSION ONLINE.