Fear of the NEW – how to deal with it?
A new project comes to you. The area of expertise is supposed to be yours, but it will require new, additional knowledge from you, which you do not have at the moment;
– Is your first thought – “I will have a difficult time, I don’t know … maybe it will be too much for me…”?
You have been asked to make a presentation for a new group of people you do not know. You know the topic, but the environment will be unique to you;
– Is your first thought – “I don’t know these people or their needs, it will be hard for me to reach them…”?
You got a promotion, but it involves changing departments, cities, or even countries;
– Is your first thought – “it’s too big a change for me, I certainly won’t find myself in a new environment, among new people…”?
No, I don’t intend to discourage you from making changes in your life :).
On the contrary, I would like to show you how you can deal with limiting thoughts, beliefs, or emotions related to the NEW.
I believe and experience it every day that the NEW comes to us FOR SOMETHING, and in most cases, it is an opportunity to DEVELOP, go a STEP FURTHER in our knowledge and skills, discover NEW ASPECTS OF SELF.
If you are a strong woman, you deal with challenges every day, you achieve your goals, and yet, when NEW comes…,it happens that fears and even anxiety BLOCK YOU, STOP you from taking advantage of what came to you, then this post is for you.
- The mind limits us at times.
Did you know that your mind is designed to warn you of impending danger? It treats what is new for you, as a POTENTIAL THREAT.
Therefore, the automatic thoughts that come to you in new situations are often related to fear.
Are you letting these thoughts engulf you at this point?
Do you follow them as if they were the truth?
Are you aware that what your mind is telling you is based on the past?
Your thoughts and beliefs are based on your experiences.
However, not only yours. In particular, your beliefs partly result from your loved ones’ experiences and views (which they “poured out” on you when you were a child), the opinions of your teachers that you often heard, and the environment in which you grew up.
What your mind tells you is not OBJECTIVE TRUTH, quite the opposite.
- Not your first time
Think about two or three times when you felt a similar fear of doing something new or in a new way than before, and yet you overcame that fear.
Remember what thoughts and emotions you had BEFORE done this new thing.
Please write them down. For each of these situations separately.
Now, remember how you felt, what good happened in your life, what you learned about yourself AFTER doing this new thing.
Please write all that down as well.
Read aloud what you wrote down.
How do you feel now? What do you think about this new challenge that is ahead of you NOW?
- The heart will tell you the truth.
If you are not convinced yet, I will share another method that effectively supports my clients in difficult moments – a short practice of heart coherence.
You can do it standing or sitting:
- Place one hand on your chest or heart.
- Take a few long breaths into the heart – with the intention that air enters and leaves the heart.
- Think about what you are grateful for or think about someone in your life you care about; feel gratitude, love, or caring.
- Let this emotion spread over your chest; feel it with all of you.
Ask the question, “is this new project / new presentation/promotion good for me?” (formulate the query as needed).
The answer usually comes right away. Either you will “KNOW,” or you will feel some change in the chest area (e.g., pressure or, conversely, relaxation), or you will suddenly see an image, or a new emotion will come to you. Each of us gets information differently.
If the answer doesn’t come right away, give yourself a chance. Wait some time and do this practice again. OPEN AND TRUST.
- Why should a heart-level response be the right one?
If you need some scientific background on that, continue reading.
Scientists discovered in early 90-ties that the heart has a complex nervous system called the “heart brain” and that our heart remembers, learns, and feels.
The heart is associated with INTUITIVE KNOWLEDGE, that bypasses normal thought patterns. The intuition of the heart is called “the voice of our authentic, genuine self. “
Isn’t it fascinating?! If you want to learn more about it, visit the HeartMath Institute website.
I hope that I managed to inspire you to take a different perspective on the NEW or UNKNOWN.
If your limiting thoughts come back and you conclude that you need SUPPORT in the process of CHANGES ahead of you so that you feel SAFE, CONFIDENT, and at PEACE in a difficult time for you, write to me.
We will arrange a free interview to see if we can work together.